The Ultimate Fighter 11: Team Liddell vs. Team Ortiz - Episode 4: “Clown Box” Recap

Recap of Episode 4 of TUF 11 as Kyacey Uscola faces Rich Attonito and Jamie Yager takes on Charlie Blanchard

We have two fights tonight on this episode of the Ultimate Fighter, so pull up your chair, “x” out your porn, and get ready to read what greatness reality TV brings us MMA fans this fine night in April.

The show begins with the fighters recapping the fight between Tarvares and Hammortree, not much insight is provided, but sliced in-between their commentary we get a shot of Yager cheering for Tarvares. Considering the two are good friends, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. But Team Punishment teammate, Nick Ring, finds Yager’s cheers to be a big no-no.

Ring chews Yager out for cheering on Team Liddell, saying that Team Punishment must stick together, but little does St. Nick know that Yager has a team of his own, the “Minority Report.” Consisting of Yager, Tarvares, McCray, and Austrialian Kyle Noke, Minority Report is not the Tom Cruise flick from 2002, but the only team Yager belongs to, a team consisting of the only minorities on TUF. Yager says if you don’t like that Minority Report sticks together, then f*ck y’all. And then he proceeds to have a Jager bomb… Actually he doesn’t, but it would be pretty funny if he did. Funny cause it’s sad.

So while Yager chills with the Minority Report, Team Punishment lounges in the living room. As the non-minorities gather around the fireplace chatting it up about Minority Report’s Tom Cruise, Jamie Yager, Kyacey Uscola shows his love for his fellow teammate, lifting his shoe for the camera and telling the guys that Yager’s nothing more than a piece of sh*t to him.

Chuck steps up and gets ready to announce the next fights. From his team he selects his second pick overall, Rich Attonito , to face Tito’s second pick overall, Kyacey Uscola.

Kyacey was a D-1 wrestler in college, and has a child on the way. Regretfully, he won’t be able to see his child’s birth because his wife is expect to go into labor soon. His fellow teammate, Hammortree, believes he will go out there and beat Rich via “Hulk Smash.”

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Tito says he only wants three things from Kyacey; one, to make sure he continues to strike; two, to defend the takedown; and three, gets back to his feet as soon as possible when he is taken down. He then takes Kyacey to the locker room and shows him a tape of Dan Henderson’s fight with Jake Shields from this past Saturday’s Strikeforce:Nashville card in which Dan Henderson did exactly what Kyacey’s not supposed to do. Obviously Tito didn’t actually do this since TUF is taped months prior to its airing, but if it was live, he probably would have.

We finally get to meet Rich Attonito and it turns out he has many names, from Richy Two Times to Richy Da Bull, to the clever Richy da Guido, and finally the best of all, Richy Boombotz. John Hackleman thinks Boombotz can be the best fighter on the show, and considering Boombotz trains at American Top Team with fighters like Thiago Silva, Jorge Santiago, and Thiago Alves, he may be right.

Liddell has gathered some info on Kyacey and reveals that he has trouble getting back to his feet after being taken down, and with this knowledge Team Liddell hopes to make this an easy victory for Boombotz. Howerver, Due to prior commitments, such as filming naked shoe commercials, Liddell will have to miss Boombotz’s fight. At least he lets his fighters know he won’t be there, unlike Rampage and Bisping.

We return back to the house where Kyacey storms up the stairs and into Yager’s closet claiming Yager stole his sweater. After finding it in Yager’s closet he begins calling him a theif. McCray walks by and mentions that he took the sweater the other night. Kyacey seems disappointed by the fact that he no longer has a right to curse and scream and Yager, but then continues to do so anyway. The highlight of their “verbal disagreement” comes after they have make their way down the staircase, “We’re not in the street mother*cker,” Kyacey says mockingly, “Pull out your little pistol you bit*h.”

They continue bit*hing in the van to the gym, with Kyacey calling him a theif. Yada yada yada.

Tito starts talking to Yager about why he’s upset, and Yager tells his mother, I mean Tito, that he’s upset because Kyacey blamed him for stealing his sweater. The editing is making it seem like, except for Minority Report, no one on the show likes Yager.

Kyacey then claims Yager also stole Team Punishment shirts from the locker room, but Ortiz and staff clarify that Yager had asked for it first. Kyacey removes the egg from his face and continues whining. If they hadn’t revealed earlier that Kyacey has a baby on the way, I’d say he has a serious crush on Yager.

They cut back to the house where Richy Boombotz is talking with Yager, telling him that ol’ Boombotz likes his ladies thick and dark. They then go to Boombotz’s room where he shows Yager nudes… I mean bikini photos of his wife. Turns out Boombotz is quite the family man.

They do the typical locker room preparation and Boombotz comes out the Octagon first. He says he wants to fold Kyacey like a lawn chair.

Kyacey comes out next and says he wants to leave Boombotzso stiff, his tounge curls.

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Kyacey “The Thief” Uscola vs. Rich “Boombotz” Attonito

Round 1:

They feel each other out for a bit, trading some shots with rich getting the better of boxing, and then finally Rich drops him with a nice hook. He follows Kyacey to the mat and tries to pound him out for the win, but Kyacey eventually works his way back to his feet only to get dropped on his neck with a WWE-like takedown. Kyacey is still alive and as Rich works for position he loses it and gives Kyacey top control.

Then controversy ensues.

As Rich tries to get up from his knees, Kycaey delivers a kneecap straight to Boombotz’s dome. Boombotz collapses to the ground, and ref Josh Rosenthal separates the fighters.

The doctors come in and ask Boombotz some questions which he doesn’t know the answers to and Rosenthal immediately waves his arms in the air, calling for a DQ. Kyacey yells at Boombotz, telling him to get up and fight. Tito slams the table in front of him in frustration and I have a feeling (cue the horribly overplayed Black Eyed Peas song) we may just be seeing a door get torn down this episode.

Kyacey asks for a damn replay, “This is my life!” he screams.

And the Ultimate Fighter gods answer with replays and more replays, all showing that Boombotz was on the ground when Kyacey threw two illegal knees.

Dana voices his opinion of the fight, saying it was absolutely one-sided until Kyacey landed the illegal knees.

Kyacey claims Boombotz was looking for a way out, and that he doesn’t respect Rich as a fighter.

Tito's frustration turns to anger and Tito breaks a mother**king door down! What’s a season of the Ultimate Fighter without Arianny booty shots and one of the coaches smashing a door.

Chuck arrives post-fight and gets the good news. But then we get the bad news, a shot of Rich’s swollen hand. Later that night, Rich returns from the hospital where the doctors have told him he can’t fight anymore because his hand is broken. Tough break for Boombotz (pun was not intended, but noticed after the fact. Sorrry.)

Chuck gets ready to pick the second fight of the night, he selects from his own team, his #3 pick, Charlie Blanchard, and from Team Punishment, he selects Tito’s #4 pick, Jamie Yager.

Tito says he has so much belief in Yager that the only way he loses is if he slips on a banana peel. And if he does so happen to bump into the O’Doyle brothers from Happy Gilmore and slip on a banana peel, Tito will take a gun to his own large melon and blow it off.

Liddell thinks stylistically Blanchard will give Yager problems. He expects Yager to come out aggressive, and wants Blanchard to step forward, clinch, and work the take down.

Blanchard feels a little pressure keeping the 3-fight Team Liddell win streak going, but says he’s up for the task.

Yager gets a little personal with us, saying he didn’t always have a strong family foundation growing up and went through some mentally tough times early in his life. Tito says Yager, and himself, came from nothing and feel as though they always have to defend themselves.

Circle, circle, throw shots. That’s Tito’s strategy for the fight. Tito expects an easy win for Yager, as do I’m sure many others after witnessing the way he ran through his first opponent.

Kyacey, hoping to conceal his grade school crush on Yager, plans to root against him and wishes for Yager to get sent to the hospital with his teeth smashed in.

Yager says he expects to use his range and kicks to finish the fight early.

In the van on the way to the fight, an envious Boombotz tells Blanchard he gets to beat up a life sized troll doll.

They cut to the usual pre-fight locker room warm-up montage as both fighters prepare to deliver a show for the cameras.

Blanchard walks to the Octagon first and reveals that he hopes to make the guys in the house happy and beat up Yager for them. Not exactly the best motivation. I expect ol’ Blanchard to be KOed in first round.

Jamie Yager vs. Charlie Blanchard

Round 1:

The fight starts and Yager looks like a monster compared to Blanchard. Not much happens until Blanchard shoots for a takedown. He almost gets it, but Yager is able to turn out of it and get back to his feet. A sideshow bob (Superman) punch is unleashed by Yager and lands, sending Blanchard crashing to the mat. Blanchard turtles up ala the UFC videogame, and allows the ref to jump in and stop the fight as Yager rains down blows.

Dana White calls it like he sees it, saying Yager’s sideshow bob punch knocked the desire right out of Blanchard.

Tito is happy again now that he has control and can play Joe Silva. I have a feeling we won’t be seeing any more doors destroyed this season.

Kyacey says he gained some respect for Yager but hopes he gets the chance to smash his face one day. After all the pouting Kyacey’s done this episode. I too hope he gets his opportunity, although I think it will be his face, not Yager’s, that gets smashed.

Next episode Tito gets first crack at playing matchmaker, and sadly, another fighter is forced to withdraw due to injury. So if you don’t get Spike, can’t find a suitable website that streams it, or just like reading recaps of shows you’ve already watched, check back next Thursday for episode 5’s recapitulation.